Faculty and Staff:

Just remember, as students here at the School of Hard Knots, it's Head Knotter not Knot Head. No one calls me that, well, except my ex and there's not much I can do about that.

OK, moving on.

You might well ask, "Does he really know his knots?" Of course I do. You should see the knots I can tie my stomach into come budget negotiation time. Or the convoluted knots of pure BS I can throw into one of those discusions. But enough of my administrative uses of knots. What about the real world stuff.

I'll have you know that I can tie a knot with the best of them and if you doubt me, just take a look under my desk at the cables to my computers. Now, there's as fine a set of knots as you will ever see. Frankly, I'm not quite certain how most of them got there since I laid everything out nice a straight when I put my computers online. Personally I think they come to life and have wild parties at night when no one else is around. Hmmm. Maybe a hidden video camera.

But, I digress. Welcome to the School of Hard Knots. I hope you enjoy your time with us.

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Who better to teach you how to tie a knot. When he's not out sailing and knotting ropes he's back here on land tying himself in knots over Olive Oil.

His background is unasailable. For years now he has demonstrated he abilities on land and sea. He can quite litterally tie a knot with the best of them.

By the way, for those of you in his classes, forget the old apple polishing thing, it's always a can of good old over cooked, mushy spinach that will get to this guy.

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We are proud to announce that addition to our faculty the pre-emminant untier of knots in recorded history. Here we have a man who can litterally escape from any rope used to tie hip up.

He will be demonstration the fine art of knot slipping and subtle escape.

If you can tie a know you had better be able to untie it, and this is just the guy to teach you those skills.

He also has a standing extra credit assignment with which you can earn an automatic "A" in his class. Just tie him up so he is unable to escape within 15 min. and you have your "A". Good luck — yeah right!

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